{"id":325,"date":"2026-06-20T18:22:15","date_gmt":"2026-06-20T18:22:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/?p=325"},"modified":"2026-06-23T00:20:29","modified_gmt":"2026-06-23T00:20:29","slug":"we-need-a-pajama-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/?p=325","title":{"rendered":"You Weren\u2019t Supposed to Let Go"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Matilda has had a tough couple of days, full of outbursts and breakdowns and not being very kind. My husband thinks she is tired but I know that what she needs is a day at home in her pajamas. She is very social but she is also a homebody. After a few days of having plans it will usually become very apparent that she needs to just stay home for a day. So I will cancel our plans, and we will stay home in our pajamas and just play and relax. I know she needs this because I am the same way- maybe everyone is, I am not sure. I am actually amazed that we made it nearly 2 weeks without hitting this wall. But we hit it- and we hit it hard. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thursday morning she woke up and had a full breakdown before we could even get out of the room. She did not want to go to swim lessons, which the night before she had told daddy was her favorite thing about Florida, but today she did not want to go. I knew immediately what was happening. Though she warmed up to the swim lessons and ended up having a lot of fun, on the way home she said the thing I had been dreading hearing. “Mommy, I want to go home.” It brought tears to my eyes instantly and it brings tears to my eyes as I type it now. To know what your child needs and not be able to give it to them is a hard thing to face. And I know, it’s good for kids to not get what they want all the time. But this isn’t a want, this is a need. She needs to be in her safe space. She needs to not have to do anything she doesn’t want to for just one day. She needs to be home. And I can’t give that to her-I can’t give it to myself. My heart hurts, I am exhausted, and I just want to give her what she needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The behavior continued throughout the day and into Friday morning. We had a good day but by dinner time Friday night she was on her last leg. She wouldn’t eat any dinner and I told her that if she wasn’t going to eat anything then it was going to be time to go up to our room and take a bath. She climbed out of her chair and into my lap and clung onto me. I wish in that moment that I could have just picked her up and taken her upstairs. But I can’t carry her anymore. I asked her if she wanted to walk or if she wanted daddy to carry her and she said neither. We sat for a few minutes and I eventually handed her off to my husband and as she screamed and tried to cling to me the tears streamed down my face as much as they did hers. He went up the elevator with both kids while I threw away our trash and wiped down our table. I quickly grabbed our laundry and headed up behind them and when I got to our door I could hear her still crying and screaming. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was sobbing as I came through the door and she reached for me and said “you weren’t supposed to let go.” She was right. I shouldn’t have. I should have sat there with her in that dining room for as long as she needed me to. We snuggled up in her bed together and cried for a while. She eventually turned over and saw that I was crying and asked me why. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Because it makes me sad that you’re sad.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“But why?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Because I love you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“But why?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Because you are sweet, and kind, and funny.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“But why do you love those things about me?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Because you’re my daughter and I love you.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She laid back down in my arms, “I love you too mommy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We skipped the bath for the first night since we’ve been here, and just put on our pajamas. We read books until Fletcher was ready for bed and then she beat us in a round of the memory card game (no we do not let her win, she just beats us, repeatedly). She went to bed without a fuss and slept all night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This morning, we stayed in our pajamas. I did not worry about what was on the iPad or how long they had been watching it. It’s not a pajama day at home but I hope it will suffice for now. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This journey has barely started and it is only going to get harder. I can’t outrun this challenge, and I can’t instantly heal the homesickness of a four-year-old. But watching her laugh as she beats us at her new favorite game for the third time in a row, I am reminded of how resilient we all can be. We hit the wall hard this week, but this morning, we breathed through the impact. And tomorrow, we will try again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThen Jesus said, \u201cCome to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.\u201d \u202d\u202dMatthew\u202c \u202d11\u202c:\u202d28\u202c \u202d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Matilda has had a tough couple of days, full of outbursts and breakdowns and not being very kind. My husband thinks she is tired but I know that what she needs is a day at home in her pajamas. She is very social but she is also a homebody. After a few days of having […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":327,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[8,11],"class_list":["post-325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dailyish-reflections","tag-beforehearrived","tag-june20"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=325"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":329,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325\/revisions\/329"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/327"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bestillandbreatheblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}